Girls Gone Wild - Feminists Launch V-Week Smut Fest

Feature Article by: Nick K. on February 25th, 2005 at 1:08 PM

Thank Feminism for Dirty Girls.

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There comes a time in every journalist’s career when he is confronted with a story of such amazing significance that it provides the opportunity for the writer to really reach out and touch his readers’ hearts. Such stories bring a journalist true satisfaction. Unfortunately, this is not one of those instances: I’m stuck covering The Vagina Monologues.

To tell you the truth, I don’t even know why I’m wasting the ink to write about this awful event. After all, chocolate vaginas and sex toys don’t really fit into my motif as a writer. However, there is just something about a bunch of talking vaginas that is too offensive to ignore. So for those of you lucky enough to have missed the Cornell Women’s Resource Center’s staging of Eve Ensler’s depraved play The Vagina Monologues, I feel like I should issue a warning. What’s about to follow is pretty offensive.

On February 17 and 18, a number of Cornell students performed a staged reading of skits from feminist Eve Ensler’s outrageously irreverent play The Vagina Monologues. This performance marked the climax (pun intended) of this year’s V-Week celebration, which included such Ivy League activities as pin the clitoris on the vagina and a full-blown sex toy party. The stated purpose of Ensler’s skits is to “empower” women and to raise awareness on issues like rape and domestic violence.

However, before all of Cornell’s female students jump on the bandwagon, start grabbing their crotches, and screaming “girl power,” I’d like someone to explain to me exactly what a series of monologues about menstruation and pubic hair does to further the cause of women’s rights. After all, I would think a vulgar display like this would be disparaging to women. Yet, like all the other garbage the modern feminist movement shovels, somehow someone always buys into it.

Just to give you an idea of the kind of nonsense modern feminists have been peddling, I picked out some highlights from over the last few years. I think these instances speak for themselves.

Take this gem for example. In her ridiculous book The Frailty Myth, feminist author and activist Colette Dowling argues that women are just as athletically capable as men are and asserts the only reason they do not excel equally in sports is because society has conditioned women to believe they are weak. According to Ms. Dowling, if women were not indoctrinated like this they would dominate the NFL, NBA, and MLB leagues.

Here is one from just a few months ago. In trying to explain the disproportionate success of men in the fields of math and science, Harvard President Lawrence Summers suggested that such a gap might be caused by innate gender differences. The feminist response to this suggestion was not reasoned argument, but a reactionary uproar and a series of painful arm-twistings that eventually coerced President Summers into apologizing for his comments.

Or let’s take this delusional piece. In the February 13 edition of the Los Angeles Times, Caryl Rivers and Rosalind Barrett authored an article which insisted men don’t necessarily prefer young beautiful women to successful women. According to these feminist scholars, a man would rather come home to a woman with a high intellect than one that resembled Jennifer Love-Hewitt.

I don’t think any fair-minded person would agree with any of the nonsense these modern feminists are propagating. But what compels them to say such crazy things? The answer is a lot more complex than you might think.

The driving force behind much of the modern feminist movement is the logic that since guys have been acting like savages for thousands of years, to be truly equal women have to join in on the fun. After all, why should men be free to hump everything in sight while women are forced to sit passively on the sidelines?

This is exactly the kind of failed logic that has engendered so many of America’s current problems. Historically, women have acted as the main civilizing force of men. By nature, women were the ones who were supposed to bring restraint to the relationship. However, when women started to feel the only way they can be free was by acting as morally depraved as men do, there was no more civilizing force and the whole system collapsed. The results of this collapse include such inimical social ills as the skyrocketing illegitimacy rate, the destruction of the family, and the killing of millions of children through licensed abortion.

What most women need to learn is that the road to equality is not paved with dildos and edible underwear, but with the self-respect to say no. Women can’t achieve equality by going out on weekends and whoring it up with a bunch of beer-soaked frat boys. That’s just giving in to what men want. If women really want to wield some power, they should try not giving it up so easily.

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand and sympathize with the reasons for the V-week celebration. Trying to stop violence against women is a very noble effort. However, I don’t understand what this misguided festival does to alleviate the problem. If anything, a monologue about a vagina is slighting to women.

Do you think proud women like Susan B. Anthony and Mary Wollstonecraft would have participated in such debauchery? Of course not! If these women had known their righteous quest for equal rights would one day degenerate into pin the clitoris on the vagina games, they may very well have relinquished their right to vote.

So I have a message for all of Cornell’s feminists out there. Stop talking about your vaginas! Not only is it disgusting and vulgar, but if you keep this up men are going to start to see you as nothing more than that—a bunch of vaginas.

 

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